What does being a bystander mean?

Did you know that bullying will usually stop in minutes if someone steps up and takes action? Learn what being a bystander means, the difference between a passive and an active bystander, and why your actions as a bystander matter.

What is a bystander?

A bystander is a witness who sees or knows about bullying that’s happening to someone else. They can witness bullying anywhere – at school, at work, in public or online. A bystander can be either passive or active.  

Studies show that when even one person objects or intervenes, bullying can stop quickly. Bystanders have an important choice: they can be either a part of the problem – as a passive bystander – or part of the solution, by being an active bystander.

What is a passive bystander?

A passive bystander sees or knows that something wrong is happening but chooses not to act. This might be because they feel unsure, or they may be scared they’ll become a target themselves.

A passive bystander might:

• look the other way or pretend not to notice

• join in the laughter to avoid standing out

• like, share or ignore mean posts, links, texts or images, telling themselves ‘It’s not my problem’ or ‘Someone else will handle it’.

Why you shouldn’t be a passive bystander

When you see someone being bullied, it can be easy to turn away and say nothing, especially if no one else is stepping in. But staying quiet sends a message, too. Even if you’re not the one doing the bullying, your silence can be interpreted as supporting the bad behaviour and make the person being targeted feel even more isolated and powerless. 

Put yourself in their shoes: how would you feel if everyone around you just stood by and watched? Would you respect them for not stepping up to help you? 

Gabbie witnessed someone being made fun of and regretted not saying something to stop it: 

Imagine if just one person stepped up to check if you were okay or to say the bullying wasn’t okay. That small act could completely change how you feel in that moment. An anonymous user told us they witnessed cyberbullying, didn’t get involved, and later realised that this was a mistake:

It takes real courage to be the first person to speak up or show support, but your actions can break the cycle. By not being a passive bystander, you’re helping to create a culture where bullying isn’t tolerated.

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What is an active bystander?

An active bystander is someone who chooses to do something when they see bullying behaviour. You don’t have to be loud or put yourself at risk – just be willing to do what’s right. This could mean speaking up (if it’s safe to do so) and getting help from a trusted adult, like Rachel did when she saw her sister being bullied:

Another way to be an active bystander is to disrupt the situation safely (say, by changing the subject) or to offer support to the person being bullied (say, by suggesting they walk away from the situation with you). Caitlin felt too intimidated to intervene, but still found a way to help:

Being an active bystander is the first step towards being an upstander – someone who actively works to stop harm and build a safer, kinder environment. If you’re ready to take that next step, check out our guide to how to be an upstander for ways to start standing up against bullying behaviour.