How to make friends at school

School can sometimes be a lot to handle, but having good friends around you can make it easier to cope. 

We’ve rounded up five top tips to help you build strong connections that could last even beyond your school years.

1. Think about what makes a good friend

Finding a friend starts with knowing which qualities to look out for. A good friend is someone who listens, respects your boundaries and supports you no matter what. It's not always easy to spot these qualities in someone right away, but there are clues to look for. Pay attention to how they treat others. If they gossip or put people down, it’s a sign they might not be a great friend to you. 

Take a moment to reflect on whether you embody these qualities yourself. If you want friends who are kind and loyal, ask yourself if you're offering the same in return.

Learn more about what makes a good friend.

2. Approach someone who’s on their own

If you’re nervous about making new friends, approaching someone who’s on their own can be a great way to start. People sitting by themselves may be just as eager to meet others as you are. A simple ‘Hey, can I sit with you?’ or ‘Do you want to join me for lunch?’ can open the door to a meaningful conversation and a potential new friendship. Other people may also be feeling nervous or isolated at school, so this small act of reaching out to connect can make a big impact.

Check out more tips for meeting new people.

3. Ask questions

Getting someone to talk about themselves is a great way to connect with them. Ask them what they like doing in their free time, what their favourite subjects are or what shows they’re hooked on. 

Keep the conversation going with follow-up questions. If they mention a favourite show, ask them what they love about it. This can also help you to discover shared interests that might lead to a meaningful and strong connection.

4. Get involved in extracurricular activities

Joining clubs, sports teams or school groups is a great way to meet like-minded people. Whether it's celebrating a big win with your team, or rehearsing with the other cast members for a performance or a play, you'll always have something to talk about with them. If you’re not sure which clubs might be right for you, have a chat with people from different groups to see what feels right. 

Watch how joining a rugby team helped Darren find his community.

5. Focus on quality over quantity

We can get so hung up on having lots of friends that we might forget about the friends we already have. The friendships that you invest in are the ones that tend to last. Make time to study together, to hang out after school, or even just to text each other to check in. Staying connected with your mates can be way more fulfilling than constantly trying to make new friends.

If you don't have a lot of friends right now, that doesn't mean it'll always be that way. People find friends at all ages and stages of life. You’ll meet plenty of people who will appreciate you for exactly who you are. Plus, it’s okay to have a small friendship group. It means you’ll have more time to explore new activities, to develop your strengths, and to learn more about yourself. Eventually, you’ll build a circle of friends who truly get you and lift you up.

Remember, school isn't everything

It can sometimes feel like school is your whole world, but life is so much bigger than that. If you’re not clicking with people at school, try finding connections elsewhere. Join local clubs or sports teams you’re interested in. You can also join our Online Community to chat with other young people who might be going through similar things.

Feeling stuck? Book a free text-based chat with a peer worker who understands what you're going through and can help you put yourself out there.

Need to know more? Ask ReachOut about making friends.